Finding Your Path: My Gamer Son Played Your Test

Continued.

A story about why I started homeschooling my 8 year old son continued: reason number two

After noticing my son’s love of video games, I thought I would find a STEAM school that would embrace his interest in gaming in order to help him learn within a school setting. I had no luck. This new school was better. My son still hated the regimented approach to learning that a school encourages. So, I spent a summer learning more about gaming and its future in the world. I read tons of articles and watched a lot of youtube videos. I also spent time watching him play the games he loved. I asked him lots of questions in an effort to gain a more in depth understanding of what appealed to him. The most important thing I learned about gaming was that my then 8 year old son was an exceptional gamer, which requires skills and knowledge that were not fully exploited or understood by traditional schools. I also learned that gaming is a lucrative business in which he could have a fulfilling career. I became very comfortable with gaming being his primary focus.

It was not easy for me to change my thinking about what an education should entail for my son. Everything I had ever been told about gaming suggested it was bad for his learning and his social skills. I had to free myself from that idea in order to figure out how to translate my son’s interests into activities that would continue to nurture and improve his skills. So, I tried to see it as any other mother who wants her kid to excel in science because the kid wants to go to med school. Those mothers would be open to their kids staying up late to do homework or study for an exam. I had to let him do that with video games. Like a mom who notices her son’s exceptional sports skills and takes him to practices multiple times a week and games on weekends, I too allowed my son to practice and spend his time on gaming. This approach led me to take what I later found out was called unschooling. Essentially this means you learn topics as they present themselves. This unstructured approach made me worry that I was failing my son. I do not stand in front of him at a white board and he doesn’t sit at a desk. He doesn’t turn in papers and I don’t give him tests or quizzes. However, when my son took the state’s standardized tests, he scored off the charts. Though, he was entering 5th grade at the time of testing he placed into 6th grade English, 5th grade on science and social studies, and 9th grade in math. I was shocked. When I asked my son how he approached the test, he said he “pretended it was a video game”. He had played the test like a video game.

The takeaway for me was that I was wrong to worry that I was failing my son. By allowing his learning to unfold through living and experiencing life, he is thriving. He loves math and because we are free to reimagine learning he gets to do as much math as he likes, which helps him with gaming. The other subjects we cover when his interest is sparked, which usually comes from something he has read or seen. When he has a question, we take the time to do the research and learn. I like this method because the information seems to stick a little better since it is something that interests him. In addition, he is developing his ability to find his own answers rather than rely on a teacher to tell him.

My approach to homeschool works for my son. I know my initial feelings of failure came from how I was programmed to think of education. Yet, I had to change for my son’s personal well-being. That was more important to me than any grade or social norms I had to force on him. To be clear, homeschooling did not work for my youngest daughter and it might not work for your child. As parents, we have to get to know our children and then figure out a path we think will work based upon their interests. If this situation sounds familiar and you think you may benefit from trying to find out how to unschool your children, path, let’s talk.